Podcast | Mary Magdalene and Addiction Recovery - with Mary Henlin

Fearless Presence Podcast with Melanie Weller

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You won't find Mary Henlin's extraordinary addiction recovery story anywhere else. From federal arrest and massive physical wounds to getting clean, you will be inspired and in awe of how Mary Magdalene showed up every step of the way. It will leave you asking how Mary Magdelene is alive in your life.

Connect with Mary on Instagram @MaryHenlin 

Shop in her Etsy shop

Art, spirituality, and personal growth with an artist.

  • Mary Henlin creates beautiful Black Madonna and dark goddess statues and figurines.
  • Melanie Weller and Mary Henlin reflect on their transformative journey through India, sharing stories of resilience and spiritual growth.

Art, addiction, and recovery.

  • In the late 90s, the Mary started their art journey by creating a controversial piece on Mary Magdalene, which led to attention and a scholarship.
  • Mary moved to the Bay Area to study fine art photography at Academy of Art University, where they lived above a DIY music venue and collaborated with artists and musicians.
  • Mary Henlin recounts a harrowing experience at a metal festival in Germany, where they fell off a platform and was rushed to a hospital without their passport or ID.
  • Mary Henlin hitchhiked back to the festival and later learned that the tour promoter had died in a car crash on the autobahn.
  • Mary Henlin describes their experience with opioid addiction, starting with a fractured spine and subsequent surgery, and how they became addicted to prescription painkillers and eventually turned to illegal drugs.
  • Mary Henlin's addiction led to a decline in their academic performance and photography career, and they eventually became bedridden due to their addiction.

Addiction, rehab, and recovery.

  • Mary describes their addiction to prescription medication and rehab experience.
  • Mary describes feeling lost and depressed after moving to a new house in a remote area, with numb limbs and a lack of interest in life.
  • Mary's symptoms improve after months, with their hands suddenly pouring sweat in the kitchen.

Addiction and recovery in Portland, Oregon.

  • Mary describes feeling numb and disconnected from their 20s due to addiction, leading to feelings of loneliness and isolation.
  • Mary moves out of their parents' house and back into the city, where they face new temptations and old habits.
  • Mary describes their experience with addiction in a small town, including the availability of drugs and the impact on their family.
  • Mary moves to Portland, Oregon to escape their past and find new opportunities, citing the city's reputation for vice and debauchery.

Addiction and mental health in Portland, Oregon.

  • Portland, OR has become an "open air asylum" with untreated mental health issues and drug abuse, despite making money from these issues.
  • Melanie Weller asks Mary Henlin about their experience in rehab and the gap between what was offered and what they needed.

Addiction, loneliness, and spirituality.

  • Mary Henlin describes their home as "a hoarder house of antique statues and roses" and how it became overtaken by their collection during a time of loneliness and addiction.
  • Mary Henlin shares experiences of being robbed and kidnapped multiple times during this period, highlighting the dangerous and unpredictable nature of their situation.

Kidnapping, addiction, and self-harm.

  • Mary Henlin describes being kidnapped and held captive by a man who was a gambling addict, who would force them to give him money and take their business.
  • Mary Henlin eventually escaped and barricaded themselves in their house, feeling traumatized and scared of everyone.
  • Mary Henlin describes experiencing severe foot wounds that were not healing properly, causing intense pain and discomfort.
  • Mary Henlin tried going to the hospital but was unable to receive proper treatment due to lack of insurance and being openly judged for their drug use.

Loneliness, addiction, and near-death experiences.

  • Mary struggles with personal issues, interprets crow's death as omen of impending doom.
  • Melanie Weller shares her experience with loneliness and isolation, feeling trapped and unable to ask for help.

Arrest, medical care, and legal proceedings.

  • Mary Henlin was arrested by marshals and taken to a federal courthouse, where they were told they faced 10 years in prison.
  • Mary Henlin was taken to a hospital due to their poor health, and was handcuffed to a bed.
  • Melanie Weller describes being handcuffed to a bed and facing federal conspiracy charges, feeling trapped and scared for her life.
  • Mary Henlin recounts being chained and monitored 24/7 in a hospital, feeling violated and traumatized by the medical treatment.
  • Mary Henlin describes being shackled to their hands while in the hospital for a drug overdose, with wounds on their arms and legs that were caused by the shackles.
  • Mary Henlin talks to marshals in the hospital, who are older retired men paid to guard people, starting on day 9 or 10 of their hospitalization.

Addiction, recovery, and incarceration.

  • Mary Henlin was advised to resist temptations and turn off human instincts to succeed in a difficult situation.
  • Mary Henlin was placed in a medical ward of jail after 10 days in the hospital, where they experienced pain and discomfort due to a bad back and constant light exposure.

Medical care in jail, mental coping mechanisms.

  • Inmate describes challenges with wound care and hygiene in jail.
  • Mary Henlin describes being taken to a dermatology appointment in shackles and jail outfit to receive treatment for bleeding wounds.
  • Mary Henlin found solace in reading "Woman Who Run with Wolves" by Clarissa Pinkola Estes in the jail library.
  • Experiences of meditation and spirituality in solitary confinement.

Meditation and reentry into society after prison.

  • Mary Henlin describes their experience in a halfway house after being released from prison, feeling like they were "entering a new world" with people who had been incarcerated for 20 years or more.
  • Mary Henlin found solace in a particular book during this time, which they describe as a "treasure" that helped them feel more grounded and comfortable in their new surroundings.

Life in a halfway house after prison

  • Mary Henlin describes their experience in a halfway house after being released from prison, including the challenges of finding employment and navigating the city while being closely monitored.
  • Mary Henlin struggled to find jobs due to a gap in their employment history and physical limitations caused by a back injury, leading to feelings of defeat and hopelessness.
  • Mary Henlin describes their experience in a halfway house after being released from prison, including the challenges of living with many people and the importance of learning time management and discipline.
  • Mary Henlin meets someone from a recovery group who offers them an affordable room to rent and a week later receives a check for over $5,000 from the auctioneers who had sold their possessions.

Loneliness and adapting to life in a halfway house.

  • Mary reflects on their experience in a halfway house, feeling isolated and lonely despite being surrounded by others.
  • As a defendant, Mary describes the challenges of pretrial proceedings, including constant therapy sessions and traveling to the courthouse for UA tests.

Addiction, recovery, and legal struggles.

  • Mary Henlin describes their experience in a haunted house job, feeling alive and connected to the Portland community after years of addiction and instability.
  • Mary Henlin mastered a call center job for environmental nonprofits, overcoming employment challenges and rising to the challenge every day to keep their job and support their freedom.
  • Mary Henlin describes their experience with the criminal justice system, including their guilty plea and the emotional impact on their family and relationship with their partner.
  • The judge in Mary Henlin's case was impressed by their perfect attendance and work ethic, and gave them a more lenient sentence than expected.

Trauma, art, and probation after a felony conviction.

  • Survivor of traumatic event feels stuck in the present, unable to think about the future.
  • Melanie Weller creates art while on home confinement and probation, finds solace in creativity.

Art, spirituality, and personal growth.

  • Mary's art and spiritual practices are intertwined with their living situation, leading to unexpected reunions with past creations and landlords.
  • Mary Henlin discovered Head Tn's work on Instagram and was inspired by her art and connection to goddesses, leading to a shift in how they saw the world and their art.
  • Mary Henlin was passionate about making merry figures and connecting with the world through their art, even while on home confinement and after a year ended, they started walking everywhere in Portland looking for sacred spots to leave their figures.

Portland's nickname, roses, and sensory experiences.

  • Mary Henlin describes the city of Portland as having a "magical" atmosphere, with vibrant colors and a sense of community.
  • Mary Henlin reflects on the cultural significance of death rituals and floral displays in a historic cemetery, highlighting the importance of honoring the dead.

Healing, creativity, and spirituality after escaping probation.

  • Friendship forms between Mary Elizabeth and Beth, born on same day, share similar birth charts and personalities.
  • Mary Henlin describes feeling watched and judged after leaving a toxic work environment, even after finding freedom and quitting smoking.
  • Mary Henlin creates art and a studio in their closet, inspired by black Madonna statues from around the world.
  • Mary Henlin's Black Madonna figures became popular after they were posted on Instagram, leading to requests for purchases and collaborations with other artists.
  • Mary Henlin started an Etsy shop to sell the figures, but had to balance work as an administrative assistant with creating and shipping the figures.

Creating art, trading materials, and mold-making

  • Melanie Weller shares her passion for creating sculptures and her journey of learning to make larger, more intricate pieces.
  • Mary Henlin received a box of materials from Amber in trade for a pink marry statue, including vintage charms, rhinestones, and dried roses.
  • Mary Henlin created a mold of a vintage Cali statue that Amber had randomly sent them, and used it to make black clay replicas.

Art, spirituality, and personal growth

  • Mary creates sculptures of Mary Magdalene and Santa Muerte, receives commissions and publishing opportunities.
  • Mary was asked to create 30 Santa Muerte statues for a special deluxe edition of a book. They initially felt intimidated by the task but ultimately decided to do it after meditating on it and finding the experience to be encouraging and transformative.
  • Mary’s neighbors unexpectedly wanted to move out, leaving them with a dirt cheap two-bedroom apartment right next door to their old place, allowing them to finally have their own place and art studio after years of renting rooms and struggling to make ends meet.
  • Mary Henlin describes feeling content and happy in their apartment, with a sense of community in Portland, before their job was unexpectedly relocated to Colorado.
  • Mary Henlin decides to pursue their art full-time after a period of stability through Etsy income and commissions, despite initial concerns from their partner and family.

Creativity, mental health, and business growth.

  • Melanie Weller appreciates the thoughtfulness and care put into her packages by Mary Beth, which has improved her mental health and ability to focus on her craft.
  • Collaboration with partner and friend leads to business growth and thriving.

Healing through creativity and rituals.

  • Mary Henlin values walking and the freedom it provides, having overcome weight gain and mobility issues.
  • Mary Henlin and friend Mary Beth have drying rose operations in their homes, finding it healing and good for their mental health.
  • Melanie Weller highlights the significance of rituals in her creative process, citing their ability to help her stay disciplined and focused.
  • Mary purchases a vintage Mary statue mold from a stranger in Seattle despite reservations about trusting them, driven by an intense dream-like obsession with the mold.
  • Mary Henlin and Mary Beth experimented with making statues using plaster and concrete, but encountered challenges such as mold damage and broken statues in transit.
  • Mary Henlin's dad helped them figure out a better system for making smooth statues, including a stand to hold the mold upside down and a perfect smooth white stone mix.

Branding, art, and personal growth.

  • Melanie Weller describes Mary Henlin as a "real-life Mary" and an embodiment of mythological figures like Isis and Osiris, highlighting their personal growth and transformation.
  • The guest's business evolution reflects their inner journey, with Melanie providing a "fly on the wall" perspective.

Moving from Portland to Eugene and facing financial challenges.

  • Feeling unsafe in Portland due to drug use and crime.
  • Mary Henlin expresses relief at leaving Portland and gratitude for Mary Beth's continued support.
  • Mary Henlin and others in the art community experienced financial struggles due to slow sales and increased Etsy fees, which caused them to worry about affording a trip to India.

Spirituality, healing, and connection with Mary Magdalene.

  • A story of spiritual pilgrimage in India, including encounters with a woman named Tatiana who gifted her a Mary Magdalene doll, and two women who helped her navigate the trails and find her way to her car after an injury.
  • A dream about Mark 15, leading her to reflect on the intersection of Mary Magdalene and Christ's crucifixion.
  • Mary shares her personal story of healing and connection through her dreams and conversations with Melanie Weller.
  • Mary thanks Melanie for holding space for her to share her story and for providing healing before her 43rd birthday.